Shaq posterizing another center in the NBA. Nothing new. But what’s interesting is the guy getting dunked on is Scot Pollard. A regular, low rate center who is usually a back up center in the NBA. I wonder what could have possibly been going on through Scot’s head during and after the dunk. Getting embarrassed in front of thousands of people, especially who are all cheering against him. This was several years ago, when both the Lakers and the Kings were dominant teams in the NBA. But that was then, and this is now. Now both teams suck and are usually struggling to get into the playoffs. Scot Pollard sucks so bad, that no team even wanted to sign him when he was a free agent so I guess he retired, but I’m not too sure. And Shaq, well, he’s just Shaq. The most dominant player to ever play the game. He isn’t the player he used to be, but really who in their right state of mind would mess with a 7 foot 300 pound man. Maybe if I was really smashed, I would consider it. But other than that, hell no.

Kids Are Nasty!

Jane and Irene are two different women who accidentally meet each other in the women’s bathroom. The time was about 6 in the evening on a Friday, and the washroom is located in the local mall. Now the mall is always packed on Friday nights, so you could just imagine what the bathrooms must be like. Now Jane is a large woman, but at the same time she’s claims to be a model. So she is very high maintenance and also is one of those undercover drug addicts and smokers. Jane is washing her hands in the bathroom and beside her comes a lady named Irene. Irene is a very pretty woman, but she’s a single mother and always has her daughter with her. Irene loves her daughter very much and would never let anything happen to her. The problem arises when Irene’s daughter accidentally touches Jane before she could wash her hands. Jane hates kids because they are so dirty and full of germs, and because Jane is so high maintenance, she gets angry...

Jane shrieks when she felt a little girls wet and dirty hands on her arm. “Oh I’m sorry miss,” mumbles the little girl.

Jane yells out “You little monster eh, I do not like dirty little hands touching my precious body, you hear that? Like.. my skin is worth a lot of money.”

The little girl starts sobbing at the sound and tone of Jane and calls out for her mom. Irene rushes down to see her little girl crying. “What’s wrong sweetheart?” Irene asked her daughter.

The little girl points to Jane and said, “She made me cry.”

Jane laughs at the sight of Irene and instantly started bickering, “Miss, your little girl is very dirty and she’s touching my body like it’s worth nothing. Look at my body eh, look at my skin. Models have to look perfect and like one dirty touch from a little girl can ruin this clear skin I have going on. I’m a model did I mention that?”

Irene immediately starts defending her daughter, “Looking at you, it’s hard to believe you’re a model. I mean, if you look at me, I think I have a better chance of modelling successfully and make more money than you. And I don’t like when people talk to my daughter like that, she’s a little girl, don’t make small situations be such a big deal, you little high maintenance model wannabe.”

Jane was shocked at what this woman was saying and quickly became angry and starts yelling out, “What are you? A single mother? You little slut.”

Irene slaps Jane and left Jane with a red mark on her precious face. “Oh my gosh, like.. did you just slap my beautiful face? You really want to get it eh. Let’s take this outside. You think just because I look beautiful and you don’t, don’t try to make me ugly because it won’t ever happen. With this body of mine, this face I have, this soft skin I’m in, I’m unstoppable.”

Jane pushes Irene against the sink and Irene pushes Jane back against the stalls. The little girl was crying at the sight of this fight between her mother and a stranger. “Aww baby, I’m so sorry you had to see this. But this big woman just won’t leave us alone. I guess she’s got nothing to do with her life that she has to come in other people’s lives and give them a bad day because she’s having one. You know what baby? Let’s go back to the mall and eat something okay?”

The little girl nodded and looked up at Jane. At this time, Jane was so pissed off, she couldn’t say the things she wanted to say. Irene pushed her against the stall again and said, “Goodbye fatty, have a nice day.” With that, Irene gave Jane a bad look while she took her daughter’s hand and left the washroom.

Jane was left feeling shock, but she quickly recovered by taking out her makeup bag and starts making herself look pretty. As she was putting making up on, she talks to herself, “Look at you Jane, you’re making big money modelling, you don’t need people like that in your life.” She giggles and says, “I’m the shiznit eh.” After she finishes making herself beautiful, she grabs her purse, takes out a cigarette and walks out of the washroom. Jane kept giggling as she walked out, all along, Jane was high off cheap drugs.

Slang Paragraph

This was one of the weirdest hockey players I’ve probably ever seen. As weird as this sounds, the reason was that in all the games I play in they’re usually a bunch of white people, never ever coloured guys. But the captain of the other team was like the meatball in the rice because he was black. It was ridiculous; he wasn’t like any other hockey player I’ve played with or against. It was like he had a vendetta against white people on the other team, because every time we got the puck he would charge at us like we had robbed his family or something. He was a nuff nuff! I’m not going to lie, he had several big checks on me, and every hit he had on me it was like he left this smell. The scent was not nice at all; if anything it smelled like a woman’s tumpsy. But I don’t even blame him for not caring about his body odour, not even his personal looks. His helmet looks like it doesn’t even fit him, makes him look like he has a firehead. But I can talk the most garbage I want, its not like it fazes him. Earlier in the season he signed a contract that pays him almost $5 million a year. I should try to kiss his ass now because we all know he’s going to be rolling around in a lot of goup!

MY TWO SENTENCES

I heard this guy was talking smack about me to you the other day eh. Word I think it's time for a man to get shanked eh!